Tina Fey-The Mother's Prayer For Her Daughter

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
 
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

The Art of the "No Spill"

Meet My Dad

My dad will be turning 70 this August. His dream birthday gift for the big day is a skydiving package. In this photograph, you are witnessing extreme dedication. Not spilling the beer was quite an accomplishment. To my dad, cracking three ribs in the process was a minor detail.

Upon reflection of childhood I've come to realize a few things. I've learned, un-learned and even re-learned a great deal. On the subject of parents and parenting, my current mental status is this-BE THERE. Everyone wants to know the magic equation to perfect parenting and I can assure you that there is none. Showing up and being present is the biggest accomplishment any parent can do for a child. When I say "Be There", I mean that in more than just a physical from. Actively being there is a whole different ball game. Sitting in the same room watching tv and talking on your phone DOES NOT COUNT.